The Motivator is Back

Wow. I couldn't believe that I haven't made any single post here this year. How time flies when it is spent on challenging endeavors. To be candid, when I started this blog, I wasn't feeling too optimistic about my situation and position in life. So many things weren't the way I wanted them to be. I was depressed most of the time, so much that, it was becoming so difficult to concentrate on anything meaningful.

I figured that motivating others or just plain researching and writing motivation messages would not only uplift whoever gets to read the messages, but also help me out of the gloom that was pervading everything I did. And truthfully, it did worked. I was happy to wake up every other day thinking about what I would post on my blog. I stayed focused and was able to achieve more. Of course, just posting motivational messages didn't solve all of my problems, but it helped me see these issues from a different and better perspective.

Problem is, I got excited enough to live everyday without worries, I got myself into several challenging tasks, I found enough motivation and strength to chart a new course for myself, and unfortunately, in the process, I became too lazy to update this blog.

Well, that's all going to stop now. I am going to give this blog the attention it deserves. And if there is anybody there that has missed me and this blog, forgive me for quitting on you. So, let's get it started again.

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You Are What You Believe

Without doubt, what and how you think, shape what you see. And your belief determines what you get out of life. So, for starters, if your life is not what you would like it to be, it's time to re-examine what you believes, and where necessary change your beliefs.

The question is: what exactly are beliefs?
There is no simple definition, however, it suffices to just say that beliefs are ideas you hold on to as facts; thoughts that you've processed through your mind repeatedly, and as such, constitute the foundation of your world view and life experiences. Unfortunately, beliefs are not always facts, neither are they universal truths, but your mind gives power to what you think repeatedly; power enough to control your life.

I read somewhere that: "your beliefs have a great deal of power over you, because you consistently come across evidence to support them. Your experiences in life will constantly prove your beliefs to be seemingly factually correct. The reason for this is that your conscious mind cannot possibly cope with every piece of information that it is exposed to. So your subconscious sifts all the information it receives and rejects that which contradicts your beliefs and retains that which supports them."


That explains why you would always see what you believe as facts and universal truths. Our beliefs come from a myriad of sources; what we learnt from parents as kinds, from teachers at school, from friends, societal norms and values and the list could go on.

However, what is important is not where your beliefs come from, but the fact that they influence your life because your mind sees them as undeniable fact. The worst problem with beliefs is that most of us leave with 'Limiting Beliefs', which tend to hold us back from going for what we want out of life, or interfere with our attempts to think about things in a new way. How you regard yourself, your strengths, abilities, financial situation, friends and families, to a large extent, determine your success in life.

If you are the type that has been programmed to see evil in everything, if you believe you can't achieve anything good, if you don't trust in your strengths, abilities and capacities; you may never be able to change things for the better in your life. Instead, you will encounter plenty of obstacles to support your belief that this is beyond your capabilities, your family doesn’t love you, your friends don't appreciate you or whatever it is that you're assuming to be the case.

Conversely, if you believe positively in your abilities and strengths; if you believe your family and friends love you and would always be there for you; if you believe things would always work out well; no matter the situation. Then you would always find success and happiness. Your beliefs won't stop you from encountering obstacles and barriers on the way, but they would make it easier to overcome these. You will always find loved ones to support and encourage you and you will be able to deal with failure and still move forward.

Changing your beliefs won't just change your life, it would help transform you into a better and more effective person.


And the good news is that, it is easy to change your beliefs.
Identify your beliefs in that area of your life you want to change. Ask yourself what beliefs would support your goals in these areas. Write out or search for positive affirmations. Recite these to yourself repeatedly for as long as it takes you to believe them. Just remember that for every belief you want to eliminate, there must be a positive one to replace it. Nature hates vacuum.

Go change your life; you deserve a better one!



Words For Today

Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty,
believe in them and try to follow where they lead.
Louisa May Alcott

Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
Bob Marley

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control Your Emotions

Anger and frustrations do always drive men into rash and irrational actions. People tend to take out their frustrations on others, and in the process start chain reaction that could potentially affect a lot of people and a lot of things.

I found this story among my collections and decided to share it. It's not mine, but I can't remember where I got it from.....

Jane, a bank executive, got caught in traffic on her way to an important presentation at a board of directors meeting. As a result, she was forty five minutes late for her presentation. After the meeting, Jane was in a really bad mood. Upon returning to her office, she discovered that several expected reports were not there.

Jane called Kevin, her administrative assistant, into her office and reprimanded him for not ensuring the reports had arrived on time. Another department was preparing the reports. Kevin had no control over when they would be delivered. Jane was in a foul mood and she didn't want to hear excuses.

Upset and stressed, Kevin called Donna, the secretary for the department preparing the reports. He started yelling at her that the reports he requested had not arrived on time. Although this was the first time Donna heard of the reports, Kevin didn't care. He was upset and took his anger out on Donna.

By the time she got off the phone with Kevin, Donna was seething. Who did Kevin think he was speaking to her like that? Just then, ED from the mailroom called Donna to ask how she wanted a package shipped. Donna accused ED of being an idiot for not knowing the package should be sent overnight because it was so important.

Ed tried to explain that there was no way he could have known what she wanted. Donna just slammed the phone down in a huff. Ed was livid. Did Donna think he was a mind reader? Ed was still agitated as he went to the diner for lunch.

The diner was extremely busy. His waitress, Stacey, took longer than usual to take his order. Ed was annoyed with the slow service. He was rude to Stacy and left her a small tip. Stacey was running herself ragged and was offended by Ed's attitude and tip.

The rest of Stacey's shift seemed to drag. When she finally got off work, she was in no mood for anymore hassles from anyone. As Stacey walked into her apartment, her five year old son, Jimmy, ran excitedly to greet her.

Stacey immediately noticed that Jimmy's pants were filthy. "I just washed those." She yelled. "Can't you keep anything clean?" Jimmy ran up to his room crying. His cat came over to him puffing. Jimmy was so upset he kicked the cat.

Wouldn't it have served a lot of people a lot of grief if Jane had gone directly to Stacey's house and kicked Jimmy's cat?

When you take out your frustrations on others, you may be starting a cascading chain reaction. If someone takes out their frustrations on you, break the chain by not taking it out on someone else. When you react negatively to another person's behaviour, you allow yourself to be drawn into their problems.

You are in charge of your emotions and thoughts. If you feel offended and annoyed, wait and think before speaking or acting.

Words For Today
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.
Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Scott Adams

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me
and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you...
we are in charge of our Attitudes.
Chales R. Swindol

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Find Your Weaknesses

In his "The Law of success", Napoleon Hill rightly observed that most successful people only became successful after discovering and correcting the weakness in their person and character. I have often heard people argue that knowing your strengths and building on it guarantees success, but I think differently.

Knowing your weak points and striving to correct them, is as important, if not even more important, than knowing your strengths.

Your weaknesses - the most dangerous being selfishness, greed, jealousy, revenge, egoism, lust, conceit and wanting to reap where you did not sow; could destroy you faster than your strengths would uplift you.

In fact, whatever strengths you posses would only successfully uplift your body and mind if they are not counter-balanced by your weakness. The weakness in our traits often tend to hide our strengths; it is by correcting these weakness that anyone can fully tap into their strengths and make success out of it.

Make it a point of duty, from now on, to identify your weaknesses. Ask colleagues, friends, or classmates to assess you; it is often difficult for relatives to say the truth about our characters, but real friends and colleagues should be sincere about their opinions.

Once you identify your weaknesses, start doing everything you can to correct them. If people describe you as selfish, start forcing yourself to share everything you possibly can; if you are egocentric and/or greedy, learn to think about others and their emotions and you'll be moved to act along this line; if you're revengeful, strive to always let people know when they've hurt you and their apologies might soften your heart.

Always remember that your weaknesses are the major barrier between you and happiness/success. You would only be eternally successful, if you identify and correct them.



Words For Today
Nobody needs a smile so much as the one who has none to give.
So get used to smiling heart warming smiles,
and you will spread sunshine in a sometimes dreary world
Lawrence G. Lovasik

The most effective way to achieve right relations
with any living thing is to look for the best in it,
and then help that best into the fullest expression.
Unknown

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Don't Live in Fear

Fear is man's worst enemy; it kills slowly and painfully.
The problem is, it is sometimes difficult to live without worries;
Worries about tomorrow, worries about the unknown, worries about uncertainties.
Worries deteriorate into fear, if left uncontrolled
Fear dominates and directs thinking and actions.
Fear becomes the first step towards poor self esteem
And then depression and then a wasted life.....

You can see that fear starts off as something less obvious
And leads to something quite debilitating.
You can break this chain reaction only if you seriously want to

Start living your live without worries.
Learn to live one day and one moment at a time.

Be grateful for every success that comes your way.
See every challenge as an opportunity to grow
And every failure as a lesson; a chance to start over again
With better tools and better knowledge.

Remember that you cannot do anything to change yesterday
And that tomorrow depends, to a large extent, on what you do today.
Make today, this moment counts
And look up to tomorrow with optimism and hope
Leave worries in the past
And your live will be free from Fear and its consequences.

Words For Today
Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow but a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness, and
every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.
Such is the salutation to the dawn.
Sanskrit proverb

Open your eyes, look within.
Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
Bob Marley

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Stay in The Game If You Want To Win

The more you try, the greater your chance of succeeding.
The law of averages is on your side.

Taking a risk is often your first necessary step toward success.
If you don't take some risks, you won't get the chance to succeed.
While you are trying, you are winning.

Never get discouraged.

Every wrong attempt is another step forward.
People that make no mistakes usually don't make anything.

Make up your mind not merely to overcome a thousand obstacles,
but to win in spite of a thousand defeats.
Your mistakes are stepping stones
to success and your installment payments to victory.

You can't be a winner and be afraid to lose.
By Max Steingart

Words For Today

There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and
no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
Henry David Thoreau

The meaning of life is not to be discovered only after death in some hidden,
mysterious realm; on the contrary, it can be found by eating the succulent fruit
of the Tree of Life and by living in the here and now as fully and creatively as we can
Paul Kurtz

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Glimpse the light

How do you know that things are bad? It is only by seeing that they can indeed be better. How do you know that you have failed? It is only because you have a very real concept of success. How do you know you're in the dark? It is only because you have glimpsed the light.

The longing which accompanies misfortune is an undeniable confirmation of the very real possibility of good fortune. Even the slightest twinge of discontent is evidence of the greatness that is surely possible for you.

In your disappointment is the affirmation of your possibilities. In the bitter is the grasp of sweetness. The pain of defeat does not prevent victory. Rather, it demonstrates that victory is indeed possible.

Do not be dismayed by your dismay. Find in it the resolve that it carries, and let it push you in a more positive direction.
By Ralph S. Marston, Jr. The Daily Motivator®


Words For Today
When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.
John M Richardson Jr

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart...
Forgiveness saves the expense of anger,
the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.
Hannah Moore

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Habits of Highly Successful People

Success is really a profound individual perception. Not only is there the commercialized notion of success, bred by whatever culture you live in, but individually, success is different for everyone, and changes as you grow older.


But there are also certain habits and characteristics that more successful people display than others.

This is a great list created by LifeHack, of qualities that successful people have, which have been noted in many books on the subject:


1. They look for and find opportunities where others see nothing.

2. They find lessons while others only see problems.

3. They are solution focused.

4. They consciously and methodically create their own success.

5. They may be fearful, but they are not controlled or limited by fear.

6. They ask the right questions -- the ones which put them in a positive mindset and emotional state.

7. They rarely complain.

8. They don’t blame, and take complete responsibility for their actions and outcomes.

9. They always find a way to maximize their potential, and use what they have effectively.

10. They are busy, productive and proactive.

11. They align themselves with like-minded people.

12. They are ambitious.

13. They have clarity and certainty about what they want.

14. They innovate instead of imitate.

15. They don’t procrastinate.

16. They are life-long learners.

17. They are glass half full people, while still being practical and down-to-earth.

18. They consistently do what they need to do, regardless of how they are feeling on a given day.

19. They take calculated risks.

20. They deal with problems quickly and effectively.

21. They don’t believe in, or wait for, fate, destiny, chance or luck.

22. They take action before they have to.

23. They are more effective than most at managing their emotions.

24. They are good communicators.

25. They have a plan for their life and they work methodically to turn that plan into a reality.

26. They become exceptional by choice.

27. They work through the tough stuff that most would avoid.

28. They have identified what is important to them and they do their best to live a life which is reflective of those values.

29. They have balance. They know that money is a tool and ultimately, it’s just another resource.

30. They understand the importance of discipline and self-control.

31. They are secure in their sense of self-worth.

32. They are generous and kind.

33. They are happy to admit mistakes and apologize.

34. They are adaptable and embrace change.

35. They keep themselves in shape physically.

36. They work hard and are not lazy.

37. They are resilient.

38. They are open to, and more likely to act upon, feedback.

39. They don’t hang out with toxic people.

40. They don’t invest time or emotional energy into uncontrollable things.

41. They are happy to swim against the tide.

42. They comfortable with their own company.

43. They set high standards for themselves.

44. They don’t rationalize failure.

45. They know how to relax, enjoy what they have in their life and to have fun.

46. Their career is not their identity, it’s their job.

47. They are more interested in what is effective than in what is easy.

48. They finish what they start.

49. They realize that not only are they physical and psychological beings, but emotional and spiritual creatures as well.

50. They practice what they preach.
Sources:

* Lifehack May 12, 2008


Words For Today

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person
with a certain set of attitudes.
Hugh Downs

Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do
something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.
Mahatma Gandhi

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How To Be Happy

In the last four posts, I have extensively discussed some of the habits we must build to lead a happier life. However, it is easily enough said that happiness comes with a cheerful and outgoing disposition, with having positive self esteem and attitude and/or with building and maintaining loving relationships, but the problem is, how can we build or strengthen such traits?

In the last four posts, I have extensively discussed some of the habits we must build to lead a happier life. However, it is easily enough said that happiness comes with a cheerful and outgoing disposition, with having positive self esteem and attitude and/or with building and maintaining loving relationships, but the problem is, how can we build or strengthen such traits?

It is often argued that our basic personality, especially after childhood, is difficult to change; that traits like emotional stability, openness and outgoingness seem to persist after childhood. Although there is some truth in this, it is also true that we have the power to influence our destinies. Each and every one of us is a creator, as well as a creature of his social world. We can decide what we want with our lives and pursue this course.

More importantly, social psychologists have proven, over the last few decades that the actions we take leave a residue in us. Every time we act, the underlying idea or tendency behind the action gets amplified. This shows that our traits and attitudes are greatly influenced by our behaviors. The long and short of this is that, if you want to be happy, start acting happy right away. Each time you smile at somebody or something, the tendency to smile increases in you; each time you reach out and mix with people, the tendency to be more friendly increases in you and each time you show gratitude for what life has endowed you with, you become happier and more contented.


Do not expect to change your life in one day; that's impossible. But with every action in the right direction, you get closer to what you want your life to be like. Do you want to change something about your life? Maybe you want to boost your self esteem, become more optimistic and socially assertive, or you just want to be more outgoing and friendly to people. The best approach is to start doing that very thing right NOW. Pretend self-esteem. Feign optimism. Simulate outgoingness. Don't worry that it doesn't feel like you NOW, remember that it's always like that when you step into new roles, perhaps your first day as a parent, teacher or salesperson. After sometime, these attitudes no longer feel like you're pretending, they gradually become a part of you.

So, if you want to be happy, start 'acting' happy right NOW.


Words for Today

The greatest thing is this world is not so
Much about where we are, but in what direction
We are moving
Oliver Wendel Holmes


Human felicity is produced not so much by
great pieces of good fortunes that seldom happen
as little adventures that occur everyday
Benjamin Franklin


Do You Know That...

Mosquito repellants don't repel, they hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6feet from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush


Uncommon Wisdom
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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Gratitude

Gratitude is a commonly misunderstood concept. But without going into much detail, it suffices to say that gratitude involves showing appreciation for everything life has offered you; from the very minute to the very conspicuous blessing in your life. Gratitude enables us to reach down within us, it shows us the numerous blessings life has been generous enough to endow us with, and by these, gratitude lead us to contentment and happiness.

Gratitude is a commonly misunderstood concept. But without going into much detail, it suffices to say that gratitude involves showing appreciation for everything life has offered you; from the very minute to the very conspicuous blessing in your life. Gratitude enables us to reach down within us, it shows us the numerous blessings life has been generous enough to endow us with, and by these, gratitude lead us to contentment and happiness.

There are a lot of things in your life worth appreciating and until you look within and appreciate these favors, happiness would remain elusive. By appreciating what you are, you gain a better perception of yourself, instead of what someone else wants you to believe. It becomes easier to build courage and self esteem, you become capable of taking control of your life, instead of blaming everything on someone else; and consequently, you become a happier person.

In same light, by showing gratitude for what you have; the little successes you have had in life, it becomes easier to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. You learn to magnify your little success, so that they overshadow your fear of failure. Success then comes to your more often and more easily and with this comes fulfillment and lasting happiness.

When you learn to show gratitude to the people around you, those inspiring smiles from your neighbor, that beautiful remark from your co-worker, those loving kisses from your spouse, all these come together, so that at the end of the day, you find yourself happier, more friendly to people around you and more lovable.

Gratitude opens the door to lasting happiness.

Starting from NOW, search within you everyday and find something to be grateful for. Write out every success you've had in life and remind yourself of these, every time failure stares you in the face. Don't let those inspiring smiles you get go unappreciated. Learn to smile more often, be more friendly, go out of your way to help people when the need arises. And before you know it, happiness would flow into your life and become a part of it.


Words for Today

Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight
In the mind, and it fills it with a steady
And perpetual serenity
Joseph Addison


We secure our friends, not by accepting favors,
But by doing them
Thucydides

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Paths to Happiness [1]

Happiness is one word that has come to mean several things; while to some people, it is commonplace, to others, it is an illusion. Whatever your understanding of happiness is, it's been proved severally that people with a happy disposition live a better and more fruitful life. In fact, it has been shown, in several studies, that health and general wellbeing are greatly influenced by individual characteristics. 'Happy people fall sick less often' is a statement I found on a medical site.

Late in the 1990s, researchers at the National Institute on Aging, after a ten year study, found that, irrespective of changes in marital status, age, job or finances, people with a happy disposition would still be be living a happy life after a decade. That is, no matter what life throw at them, people that have learnt to be happy, will always have a happy life. That's an astonishing fact. The question is; 'can we learn to be happy?' or 'are people just born with happiness?'
Wherever you are in life, and whatever you might be going through, you can decide to be happy and remain happy. Within every one of us lie the power, the will and the resources to lead a happy life. Problem is, some people don't just make use of what they have, while some others search the wrong place for it. We have all been conditioned to think that more riches, more luxury or a better job will bring us happiness. And unfortunately, it takes some people several years of following the wrong path to learn that they have been misled.

Happiness is a result of the mix of several habits or characteristics we develop over the years. Happy people everywhere exhibit these characteristics and just by learning these habits, you could find lasting happiness. These blends of habits vary, depending on your point of view, and ranking them on a scale of importance would be difficult. But in the next four posts, I shall be discussing these 'habits of happy people' one after the other.

SELF ESTEEM

Of the 'habits of happy people' my first pick is self esteem. It is sacrosanct that you'll never find happiness if you do not love, trust and believe in your self. Self love or self esteem is one of the most important prerequisites for a happy life. Sometimes, I start my day by listening to Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love", and where I feel most inspired is where she said "if I fail, if I succeed, at least I've lived as I believed". That is the highest point of self esteem. You must take control of your life, you must realize that the most important thing in life is not failure or success; it is the ability to decide what you want to make of your life and to follow that path.

When you feel that you are in control of your life, that you are following the path you have chosen for yourself and doing what you want to do; you feel that immense inner love for yourself and your self esteem will soar. And, most importantly, you would have laid the foundation for a happy life. People who feel their live is being controlled, often feel dejected, depressed and used. They have very poor image of themselves, want to blame everybody for the problems they have and spend the best time of their lives wishing they could do better with their life. You don't want to follow that path.

Decide today to love yourself, to take control of yourself and determine where and what you want to do with your life. If you haven't learnt anything from everything above, at least, know that 'your life's your business'. It's your business to be happy, go work on it today.

Words for Today

Depend not on another, but lean instead on thyself...True happiness is born of self-reliance.
The laws of Manu

I have failed many times, and that's why I am a success.
Michael Jordan (1963 - )

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Living Life Positively

So much has been said about the benefits of developing a positive attitude, passing through life with hopes, aspirations and an unending happiness, and about the powers of motivations on our quality of life. But we all know it is quite easy to commit pen to paper and pour out hundreds of motivational words; it's a whole different ball game in the real world.

The realities of life are sometimes too harsh and daunting for the average human being. I can tell you a lot about the challenges of life. Growing up in Africa with all its challenges; poverty, corruption, civil wars, HIV/AIDS, just to name a few, definitely prepares you for just about anything. I used to tell my friends that 'if you can live in Africa, then you can survive successfully in any part of the world'. In my over two decades of existence, I have learnt enough to live a century. But the most important lesson life has taught me is that your life would only be meaningful and worth living, if you learn to live positively, with hopes and happiness, irrespective of the realities you face.

When I was younger, I often wonder why people in the wealthy nations of the West still suffer such high rates of depression and suicides. Now, I understand quite well that your life is not shaped by what you have around you, but what you are inside. No amount of wealth, luxury and comfort will give you a happy life if you can't find happiness within you. At the same time, no degree of poverty and other life challenges would dampen your spirit, if your soul finds happiness in itself. There will always be challenges in life, but within you lie the power to overcome everyone of them, if you would just reach deeper.

Within every one of us lies the power to live positively and happily. Life becomes richer when you can look forward to tomorrow without fears or worries. The first step towards living a positive life is to let go of your fears and anxieties; they are an unnecessary burden the heart is forced to carry. Someone once defined FEAR as 'False Expressions Appearing Real'. You must realize that there is nothing real about fear; it is a creation of the mind, a byproduct of worries.

Look at it this way; worrying about something won't change that thing. You won't get richer just by worrying about and fearing poverty; neither would worrying about a bad relationship make it better. Throw away your worries, and with it goes fear. Instead, look through your problems with happiness, decide what must be done to help the situation and get to work on it. That way, you would be directing energies you would have wasted on worries and fear onto a constructive course. While this can be easily said, it is much difficult to practice; we all need help building a positive life. The sole purpose of this blog is to provide that 'help'. I'll be posting daily inspirational messages, videos and audios here. With this, I hope to help a few people, make a few friends and in the end help myself build a better and more positive life. Life's richer and better when you pass happiness around.

Words for Today

The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds can change the outer aspects of their lives.
James William

A true man never frets about his place in the world, but just slides into it by the gravitation of his nature, and swings there as easily as a star.
Edward Chapin

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